I had a moment of epiphany last night. I was lying in bed, musing about why my story & I haven’t been getting on so well lately. Why has my enthusiasm for spending time with it waned of late? Why, when I have a snippet of time in the busy day to open my notebook and dive into my beloved story world, do I procrastinate and find distractions? Why, when visiting my story used to be a source of joy and escape from to-do lists, has it become a drain, a task… a dread?
And then it hit me. My sweet little pocket-sized story which has tagged along with me everywhere for years now, always there when I wanted to take it out for a bit of amusement or quiet contemplation… my tame little darling…has grown into a monstrous dragon and sprouted fangs!
My own story has grown too big for me, and I start shaking in my boots each time I face it! It’s taken on a will of its own. A wing-pumping, fire-breathing vitality I never anticipated. And it’s still growing! Wilder and more unwieldy by the day! What am I to do with this monster I’ve created?!
But wait… maybe I’m overreacting. After all, haven’t I always dreamed of owning a dragon? Of epic flights and adventures? I mean, the fluffly little story in my pocket was sweet, but now it’s grown and stretched its wings, it’s no less wonderful! The difference is in my experience of it. Instead of stroking its cute little head as I did before – jotting down a note here, musing a little there – I now get to RIDE my story! It’s big enough to transport me to places I’ve never yet dreamed of!
Hey, this is GREAT! … if a little terrifying at the same time.
Maybe this is what being a writer is all about… nurturing your little story. Loving it, feeding it, enjoying it until, one day… it grows up, spreads its mighty wings and invites you to jump on its back and fly! This is the make or break point. There’s no turning back now. This dragon is wild, but it’s still mine. I can still tame it. Somewhere behind those fiery eyes is the little fluffy thing it used to be. And I still love it!
So here goes. Stepping onto its back. Holding my breath for the ascent… Let’s fly!